Mr. Nobody

Mr. Nobody...

I’m going to miss him really. I wasn’t able to see him yesterday. It was supposed to be the last day of school for the first semester and hopefully my “last” first semester in my college life. As you may all know I’m hoping to graduate this coming March and just thinking about it really get my heart beats so fast. I wish I was able to meet him much earlier then things between us might have been better or should I say possible? (How I wish.) Not seeing him for sometime now somehow affects me. There’s just this thing inside me that lights up and complete my day whenever I see him. I thought I would see him often after I incidentally bump into him one day. But to my dismay I was wrong, the day after that incident was really a sad one. I started to get paranoid about it. I felt like I’m seeing him whenever I go and it’s just so crazy. I have to look twice to someone before I have to realize that it was not he and just some other guy. But like any other bad incident there’s always this good one following it, and that’s what happened. This semester break would really be a sad one for me, beside the fact that I won’t see him I still have to think important things over. One thing is just for sure I’m going to miss him. I’m looking forward to seeing him again and I can’t wait for school to start over again. If only I had the chance to turn back the hands of time then I may go back to the times that we were both happy talking and just minding our own business without thinking about what others would say.

Bread - I Can't Find The Words To Say Goodbye

Can't say I don't love her
Still I can't pretend
That my heart is torn just knowing that I'm losing my bestfriend
If it's easier said and done
Then someone tell me why
Though I try,
I can't find the words to say goodbye

I could tell her that I'm sorry
Hope she'll understand
She will have to do with someone else
All that we have planned
I'd rather her hear the truth
Than hurt her with a lie
So I tried,
But I can't find the words to say goodbye

Now I knowI have to go
There's no other way
But goodbye is not what I can bring myself to say...

If I told her "see you later"
Then I might be wrong'cause this voice inside is driving me
To find where I belong
I know I must leave her now but everytime I try,
Don't know why,
but I can't find the words to say goodbye...
Don't know why,
I can't find the words to say goodbye....

Killing Heidi - Don't Speak

You and me
We used to be together
Every day together always

I really feel
I'm losing my best friend
I can't believe
This could be the end

It looks as though you're letting go
And if it's real, well I don't want to know

Don't speak
I know just what you're saying
So please stop explaining
Don't tell me 'cause it hurts
Don't speakI know what you're thinkingI
don't need your reasons
Don't tell me 'cause it hurts

Our memories
They can be inviting
But some are altogether
Mighty frightening

As we die, both you and I
With my head in my hands
I sit and cry

Don't speak
I know just what you're saying
So please stop explaining
Don't tell me 'cause it hurts
It's all endingI gotta stop pretending who we are...
You and me
I can see us dying ... are we?

Don't speak
I know just what you're saying
So please stop explaining
Don't tell me 'cause it hurts
Don't speakI know what you're thinking

I don't need your reasons
Don't tell me 'cause it hurts

i've had enough

I’ve had enough. I tried my very best to understand you and your ways, but I just don’t get it. Maybe I am the one here who has a problem but I’m just tired of it all. You feel more comfortable with her? Then go! I wouldn’t even try to stop you from going. She lets you feel happier than I do? It’s okay. Go. I know that I’m not a perfect person, I’ve got faults, mistakes, sins and whatever you wanted to call those bad things that I’ve done but I’m human, I have feelings. And right now I’m hurting so much that I don’t know what to feel. I’ve always treated you nicely and I never wanted something in return from you. I wasn’t expecting anything, nothing at all. But, I was hoping that you would care. Even just a little care would do. You’re not that “ma-drama”? I know! I’ve known you for some years now and I know that. I wanted to tell you so much! But I can’t. I feel like something about us changed. I don’t know if it was I or it was you, all I know is I’m hurt with all the things that you keep on doing! You laugh so loud with her and I can say that she’s the only person that made you laughed like that. You even treat her nicer than the way you treat me. Jealous? I’m admitting it – I am jealous. Why? Hello?! Everyone sees and knows why! Sometimes I wish that I never met you. My life would have been better if you weren’t there. Obviously, as I look in the picture - after all there’s only one person that keeps us together and I am willing to give up that person to forget you and all the pain that you’ve caused me. Talking may help to cure this situation but I think that it’s just too late. I’ve already gone down, I put my pride aside. And even though it was hard for me – I turned my back to the others. And even if I were ready to sacrifice everything still – you weren’t. I thought I found the one best that I was looking for. ‘ Think I’m wrong then.

(And you, you know exactly who you are. I know you know what I’m talking about here and for whom this is intended to. And thank you for crying with me. ‘Don’t deny it! I know you’re hurting too.)

Missing You

Have you missed someone so much that it made you cry, even though that someone is just right there beside you, in front of you rather? The person is so close yet she’s so far. You maybe be friends but the reality is that you’re friends but she never trust you with her secrets and it hurts so much. It hurts more than being stabbed in the back by a friend. She used to tell you her secrets and you appreciated it a lot but now things are different, things change, she changed. She’s not close to you anymore. The person has already someone to accompany her and you’re thinking that she doesn’t need you anymore. They are more compatible; both agree with things and understand each other more. Without you in the picture is much happier. Why did you let her be close to you anyway? You wished that if only you can turn the hands of time you’ll not let her affect you so much and yes you’d rather wish that she was with her close friend now – happy, laughing, and enjoying rather than with you.

You've changed

I wasn’t the one who changed so don’t asked me “what’s going on?” You are the one who changed and I’m not blaming you for doing so. You are free to do whatever you want to. Don’t mind me. I’m just nothing. I think I’m not that especial to you not the way you are to me “then”. It was good I was able to see who you really are. I was so blind to have been fooled by your “innocence”. You’ve done so much to me already. You’ve affected me so much that I don’t know now how to go on without you on my nerves. I thought I wouldn’t read you; we’ve been together for some years now and still I can’t read you, which is what I thought. But now I know every inch of you, the way you behave and why you behave that way. Sometimes I plan of not talking to you but I always ended up laughing and doing the same to you. You still know how to make me smile and I hate you for that. I’m so angry with you right now! Do you know that?! And I can’t even confront you for that! And I hate myself for not letting you know how I get affected with what you’re doing!

Giving up

I thought that she would not give up, but she did. I know she was strong that I never thought that it would happen. Maybe she got tired holding on and decided to loose her grip and keep silent in the end. I know the reason behind her silence. I would have done the same way back then, but as time goes by I get used to it – the hurt that I’m feeling, the jealous that keeps on hiding inside me. I was even in denial at first, but my eyes just can’t fool me. Seeing everything that’s happening is such a foolish thing to deny. It hurts badly as hell. And as my tears keep pouring from my eyes, my heart starts to ache, my hands started to comfort myself for no one else would. They all left me and the only person that I thought would be there to stay was nowhere to be found. I closed my eyes, it hurts so much that I’m not feeling anything now, my tears stop pouring and my heart stops beating, it feels like I’m not breathing anymore, it feels like – death.