The Great Pretender

I may say that I am sensitive. I am really sensitive. I may laugh at everything but you don’t know what I am like every time the night comes and I lay on my bed while the tears keep on pouring from my eyes from the funny jokes that you may have said to me. I have always been alone. I’m used to it. You’ll never get to trust anyone in this world. I’m always been left alone. It was always between me, myself and I. Even now the situation had never changed. Friends can even leave you. They may even deceive you and cheat you. Do not blame me if I feel this way. The world and everything on it has been cruel to me. I may sound like a foolish one but what I’m saying is true about this world. I’m a good pretender. The best pretender there is. Like what I have said to a friend once. I can hide everything if I want to. Hiding has always been an excuse for me. It was the best defense mechanism there is. I may be too emotional at times but that’s how I feel. Not everything you see might be real. I can deceive you if I want to. Not everything I say and do might be real. Be careful for I may not be the person that you know. You may think you already know me. We may have been together for long but I know myself more than you know me. You’ll never know who the real me is because a great pretender do not take off his mask, never.

words

We often say words without thinking about them. We often hurt others just for being our selves. We say jokes that we think would not hurt anybody, but the truth is that it hurt so much that they often smile back at you not knowing how they really feel. They may always smile, but smiles can be deceiving. The person you might always see smiling and laughing at your own jokes maybe the same person who’s always bleeding anytime you say those hurtful words. Jokes are jokes but not all the time jokes can be laughed at. There are times that you must ask yourselves. You might be hurting somebody already. We should be careful with our own words. Words can break anything, friendship, relationship, anything. Words can kill. It’s the most hurtful weapon that you can use against someone.

Some people never listen

What is wrong with the people today? They seem to be short-tempered. It’s not that they should not be, it’s just that it’s disgusting already and I’m starting to get annoyed with what’s happening right now. Honestly, I promised myself that I would never ever talk about those people again that keeps on annoying me especially if that person is a guy! Do I look so much affected? Maybe I am. But I can’t really help it. I feel that if I just look and listen to what’s happening it’ll just keep on annoying me. And right now I don’t want to say much because I may be too over reacting to the situation.

You see there are these people who’ll never stop pulling you down with them. They’ll never stop until they see you crawling and feeling the same way they did before. It was their own fault that they are suffering now.

Some people never listen.

Some people don’t care about what you think and about what you want.

forgotten

I almost forgot about Daniel's birthday today. It was good I remembered it before the day is over. Happy 18th birthday anyway.

why?

I really don’t understand why it is so easy for other people to look for a new person to love and just forget the one that they used to love. Is it money? Or it is just because of the fact that they can’t take being with each other or simply because the love they used to feel isn’t there anymore? How would you know if it’s already gone? Can you feel it? Can you guess it? Or would you just know it? They’ve been asking me those questions that sometimes even I, myself can’t answer. I’ve gone to far and I’ve even reached the point where you’d never imagined I could go. I’ve met people that hurt me so much that I wanted to curse them, but I can’t. There are those people that became the same reason that I cried over and over again. Some are wastes for others but a treasure for me. Some even built their hopes with me but helped me destroyed it in the end. There are some that I’ve trusted so much and even gave everything that I’ve got until there was nothing left for me. Even the others are almost perfect but just don’t really work out for me. Some of them I’ve wished were mine but could never be. Most are just for dreaming and the others are for reality. I don’t know when the right one had passed me by or if he’s still waiting for me out there. What I know is that I can’t tell what would be the next person like.

opinion

Eto na! Tunay na 'to. We've already watch Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix! Parang kailan lang super excited kami na mapanood na 'tong movie. Medyo natetempt pa nga ako na manood the exact day na showing yung movie. Pero hindi ako nagpadala, inisip ko "mapapanod ko din yan" at eto na nga tapos na napanood ko na! I was even willing na hindi pumasok sa ojt to just to watch the movie at the exact date! Well, so much for that...Masaya sana yung panonood kung kumpleto ang tropa kaso hindi nakadating yung iba either may sakit or may importanteng appointment. Disappointed? Medyo, besides the fact na hindi kami kumpleto (which is okay lang din naman, i understand) eh madami din ang kagulat-gulat sa movie. As I can remember well, yung ibang scenes are so much different from what I have read on the book. (Well, I understand that some scenes should not really be the same as the book dahil baka pag ginawa nila yun eh baka days and weeks bago matapos yung movie. Kaya lang concern lang kase ako, pano maiintindihan ng other people yung story, lalo na kung hindi naman nila nabasa yung mga books ng hp. May mga scenes kase na sobrang kailangan, at yung ibang bagay na kailangan makita sa movie. Like the coin na ginamit nina harry para macontact yung mga members ng D.A. which is gagamitin ni Draco Malfoy sa Book 6 para sa plan nya na patayin si Dumbledore. Ano naman kaya ang ilalagay nila dun? And si Cho chang (excuse me, I just want to make things clear-hindi ko talaga sya gusto.) hindi naman talaga sya yung girl na nakalagay dun sa book, which get harry and the D.A. into trouble. It was one of her friends na nagkaton na kasali din sa Dumbledore's Army. The Kissing Scene...it was never emphasized that much in the book, bakit kailangang ganun kahaba?! Angry?! Of course not!!! (I was just really surprised the way they focused so much attention to things that are not important.)Sirius' death was another na so questionable. Bellatrix didn't even got Sirius with the curse that she gave him! In the book, he had fallen behind the veil! It was the veil! the veil! Basta madami ang nawala, napalitan, at hindi ko magets kung san nila nakuhang lupalop ng wizarding world. Pero maganda naman, it was just not the way I've expected it to be. Akala ko kase, since it is already the 5th book na ginagawa nilang movie, eh mas detailed na, I mean, I thought yung mga unang movie lang ang may pinapalitan, binabago at blah blah blah. Pero as I have observed habang tumatagal eh mas marami ang pinapalitan at binabago. Sabagay approved naman siguro si J.K. dun, dahil hindi naman nila gagawin yun kung hindi, d b?!Eh teka nga lang bakit ko ba pinoproblema yan, eh hindi naman ako kasali jan. Well, as a fanatic lang naman ng Harry Potter (at future girl ni Daniel,hehe) eh gusto ko lang sabihin yung mga opinion ko. Who knows? baka nakakaintindi ng tagalog si Daniel at nagbabasa din sya ng blogs? hahaha.. Well that's all I can say. Para sa mga fanatic na tulad ko alam ko naenjoy din nila yung movie, since we've read na the book eh madali ng intindihin yung mga bagay-bagay sa story. At para naman sa mga hindi fanatic - ay naku! kase, magbasa muna ng book bago manood. O kaya siguraduhin na napanood nyo na lahat yung movie ng hp ng sunod sunod para hindi nakakaabala sa katabing super concentrate sa panonood. And another thing uso na talaga ang stripes nowadays. And what's with the bangs,the hooded jackets,the choreographic casting of spells, the bonnets,the blazers,curly hair, braided hair, stolen glimpses,and the soft voice? I really don't understand such things.

asar...

hindi naman sa nagagalit ako o ano pa man...kaya lng kase.. alam mo ba yung feeling na ipagawa sa yo yung isang bagay na alam mo yun...willing ka naman gawin...kaya lang syempre imposibleng magawa mo... kaya mo, oo... kaya lang hindi yun yun eh.. hindi pinaguusapan yung kaya mo ba o hindi, the point is--- may oras ka ba para gawin yun or tama ba yung oras na meron ka para ma-accomplish yun... ang unfair lang kase talaga! sobrang naaasar ako! para kase sa kin what i did was really wrong and for my part it was a failure... i know i shouldn't have done it..pero andun na nangyari na.. wala na akong magagawa... nasira na ako...basta

movie!!!

hahaha!! i can't wait for saturday to come! manonood kami ng movie, manonood kami ng movie! harry potter! harry potter! ahhoo...ahhoo..i've been waiting for this movie, correction pls., everyone's been waiting for this movie pala...and the 7th and final book is coming out this july 21!!! i wanted to have that book! kahit that final book na lang. i've read na lahat ng book ng hp and yun na lang talaga iniintay ko.waaaaah...pls. naman kung sino man ang meron nung copy pls. pls. pahiram naman po. or else bibili talaga ako! (tama bang manawagan sa blog!) ahahah.. pacnxa na... excited lang for this coming saturday...kasama ko nga pala mga friends ko sa panonood and by the looks of it, excited na din cla, hindi na nga nila mapagdesisyunan kung anomg dadalhin nilang pagkain sa loob ng sinehan... hahaha...WICKED!!!

ending

Now here goes the ending of their story. It's not that i was expecting for it to happen, it just did. i'm feeling sorry for both of them since they're both my friends. They both said that it's for good but I think they are just both scared of what might happen if they continue what they are doing. And they are both witnesses that a long distance relationship never works. (i guess so) I'm just sad the way things turn out between the two of them but that's just the way it is. I guess they're just not really meant for each other.