goodbye

I heard that my favorite professor would be leaving his teaching position and I don’t want to believe that very bad news. It’s just a rumor for sure. Or maybe I just can’t accept the truth that he’ll be leaving us? Our school? Our department? I don’t know. Now I just can’t help but blame our section, ourselves for his sudden change of mind. We’ll miss him for sure. But I hope it wasn’t true. I would be sad if it were, not just me but a lot of people would be. Truly we’ll just learn the value of someone when they are already gone. How sad life can be. How sad is it to hear someone say his goodbye just when your good relationship Is just starting.

bday

Hahaha! My other sister treats us to the zoo because it was her birthday. Together with her boyfriend and my other niece and nephew from the province. It was fun and tiring but the best part would have been always the “food”.



I would be spending my summer vacation most of the time here in the city. I just don’t know when will I be going to the province. Surely it will be a surprise. But I’m looking forward to it. And I am very excited. For the mean time I would be a baby sitter? For my nephew and niece. (Though they are already grown up still they need someone to be there to look after them)

bad?

I was able to pass my accounting subject! Yipee! I’ve been thinking about it for the whole week. I was not even able to sleep well because of it. I thought I was going to fail for the first time in the Philippine’s history. You see, I have reached this, my third year college, without having a failing grade (Thanks be to God) and never was I planning to have one failing grade! Oh I was just really happy.




Tell me, am I that bad? Is it bad that I tell them that I wasn’t at home though the truth was that I was really there and just don’t want to see any of them? I’ve been sick for a week and if it was not just because of getting my report card and finding out whether I have to take summer lessons for my accounting subject, I wouldn’t be going to school. I just don’t feel like having fun while I don’t feel well anyway. I don’t know what has gotten into me that I have done that, but I’m sorry. Maybe I wasn’t that bad, after all they’ve been spending so much time in my place and having just some time for myself wouldn’t be that selfish. I just need to be alone right then and there. I’m sorry anyway.


I was so full today. My sister visited us and decided to spend the night there at our house. You see, she already have her own family and she’s living in Batangas. She have this company outing the next day so that is another reason why she have to spend the night there. She came in late from the office so we have to rush to Sm San Lazaro to buy something for our dinner. It was good it was still open (8:45 pm, was the time). We got our dinner from Chef d Angelo. Everyone was so full.

cancelled

Just when we thought that everything was settled, we found ourselves facing another problem. We had the solution to the problem but what we didn’t know is that the solution was another problem after all. Now we don’t know if our outing is still going to happen. I don’t want to mention and talk about anything because I just start to blame things, situations and even people. I may hurt some feelings without any intention of doing so. So I just want to be quiet right now. Let’s just pray that everything would be fine. As we usually say “everything would be fine in God’s time”. ‘Hope so.

crush

Wahahaha....Bakasyon na! Tapos na naman ang isang semester. Akala ko di na matatapos ang madugong final exams na yun. Hay, sana naman naipasa ko lahat yun. At sana maipasa ko lahat ng subjects ko. Sigurado mamimiss ko ang madaming tao, yung mga crushes ko na engineering (yun bang mga crush ko na naging classmates ko sa Logic namin dati...hehehe), yung mga professors syempre(mga taga-i.t. department to be specific), mga classmates, mga friends, at maging yung mga taong kinaiinisan ko!(enemies kung baga). E yung mga terror na prof mamimis ko kaya? siguro pero di masyado, di katulad nung mga prof na crush ko. Bakit kaya most na mga guwapo e nasa engineering department? Ano bang meron sa engineering? Pero in fairness may mga crush din naman ako sa ibang department pero mostly nga lang nasa engineering department talaga. (hehehe....)

afraid

May mga bagay pala talaga na mahirap sabihin. Meron din namang madali lang. Mahirap pala yung andyan na sa harap mo, kukunin at hahawakan mo na lang di mo pa magawa. Takot? Siguro nga natatakot ka. Takot sa mga pwedeng mangyari. Abot-kamay mo na yung kaligayahan mo pero hindi mo pa rin maabot. Minsan tuloy hindi mo na alam, nalilito ka na sa kung ano ang tunay mong nararamdaman. Nagtatanong ka kung tama ba talaga? o hindi? pero kahit ilang beses ka pa magtanong wala din namang makikinig sa'yo. Wala din naman silang pakialam sa'yo. May mga bagay na mahirap intindihin. Mga bagay na pag inisip mo parang totoo pero kapag napagtanto mo, mali pala at hindi tama.

the end...

wahaha...tapos na ang departmental exams, tapos na ang second sem...BAKASYON NA!!!

robbed

I was shocked when I heard the news. He was robbed and the money he was supposed to pay for his tuition fee for the finals was also taken away. Just one week before the finals, why should it happen now? It’s not that I’m praying for it to happen but I hoped not now, maybe some other time. That brings me to only one conclusion “he cannot take the final exam. One semester was wasted with just a snap.” If only I had enough money to lend him, but just like anybody else, I don’t. I’m still dependent to my parents, sisters and even brothers when it comes to financial things. I can feel the way he feels, the feeling that you can’t find anybody to help you in solving your problem. We thought of every possible thing that we could do. It was the first time I saw him crying, if only I can do something to help him. But all I can do is to be there for him. Everyone starts to give his or her own ideas to solve the problem. Fortunately we found some friends who can lend him some money. This week has been so hard for him and for the rest of the group as well.

friends

Absent na naman sya. Ano na kaya ang nangyayari sa lalakeng yun. Simula ng makahanap sya ng bagong pag-ibig ay hindi mo na siya mahagilap. Pambihira, wala na ba talaga syang oras para sa pag-aaral nya? Namimiss? Hindi ko sya namimiss, naaawa lang ako sa mga taong sumusuporta sa pag-aaral nya para kasing wala siyang pakialam sa mga ito. Madalas syang late sa klase pero nasanay na ang lahat sa kanya pati na nga mga propesor namin. Naaalala ko nung minsan syang lumapit sa kin at sinabing magkagalit daw sila ng mahal nya. Sa sobrang inis daw nya nagawa nyang punitin at sirain ang sim card nya. Sabi pa nga nya di nya daw kabisado ang number ng mahal nya kaya hindi na nya ito matawagan o maitext man lang. Gusto ko sanang maniwala sa mga sinasabi nya pero hindi ko magawa kahit ako kase ginagawa ko yun, yung tipong ieerase sa phonebook ang number ng isang tao pero ang totoo e kabisado at nakasulat sa utak ko yun. Sigurado ako, kabisado nya un. Niloloko nya lang ako. Pagkalipas ng ilang araw, muli syang umabsent. Nagtaka ako dahil wala na naman syang pag-ibig ngayon e bakit wala sya? San nanaman kaya nagpunta yun? Naisip ko na lang baka nagkabalikan na sila ng mahal nya. At naisip kong itext sya at dun ko nalaman na totoo pala ang hinala ko! Sila na nga ulit at absent sya ngayon dahil magkasama sila sa mga oras na yun. Hindi na nakakagulat ang mga ganyang pangyayari.
Isa siya sa mga kaibigan kong lalake. Mabait, guwapo,matalino at medyo maliit lang sya. Isa siya sa mga taong masasabi kong naglalagay ng kulay sa college life ko. Malaki ang pasasalamat ko dahil nagawa nya akong pagkatiwalaan ng mga bagay sa personal nyang buhay lalo na ang lovelife. May mga sikreto din syang nagagawang sabihin sa akin. Dahil dun natutuwa ako sa kanya. Madalas kaming magkasama dahil miyembro sya ng barkada namin, sabay kumain at minsan sabay na din umuwi. Naalala ko nung minsang umuulan, pinahiram nya sa akin yung malaki nyang panyo dahil wala akong payong. Sabi nya bukas ko na lang daw isauli. Pagdating ng bahay nilabhan ko kagad yun at nilagyan ng pabango para naman hindi nakakahiya sa kanya kapag sinuli ko na. Aaminin ko hindi ko sya gusto nung una ko siyang nakita. Nayabangan ako sa kanya at sinabi ko sa sarili ko na kelanman hindi ko magugustuhan ang taong iyon. Pero dun ako nagkamali, lumipas ang maraming araw sa loob at labas ng klase at unti-unti ko syang nagustuhan. Ang dami ngang may crush sa kanya nun kaya pati ako nakisali sa kanila. Crush ko na din kase sya. Hindi pa kami close nun at hindi ko pa sya ganun kakilala. Pero habang tumatagal napalapit na kami sa isa't isa at nagkasama pa kami sa iisang barkada. Magaling syang sumayaw at isa yun sa mga dahilan kung bakit ko sya nagustuhan. Sabi nila madalas daw nahuhulog ang mga taong nasa sitwasyon na tulad ng sa akin pero hindi nangyari sa kin yun. Kahit kailan hindi ako nahulog sa kanya. Kaibigan lang talaga ang turing ko sa kanya at alam kung ganun din sya. Masaya ako dahil naging kaibigan ko sya. Hindi ko naisip na magiging close kami ng tulad ng pagiging close namin ngayon.

alex's birthday

We celebrated Alex’s birthday. It was fun. We wanted Alex to cry but he didn’t, it was just disappointing. You see, things were not that ok with him and our group. It was a few weeks ago when he started to hangout with our other classmates and started to keep distance on us. We really do miss him. We don’t know what are his problems but we are always willing to listen. But I have a little idea of it. Sometimes I myself feel offended with what some of our friends keep telling him. Though it may sound like just a joke still it only end up with one thing – still it hurts his feelings. Sometimes I just wanted to shout at them and tell them to stop but I never had the courage to do it. I just find them talking behind his back and I can’t do anything about it so I just sit, listen, nod and be quiet while they say every words that I am sure if ever Alex would hear would just hurt his feelings more. Sometimes I can’t help but think that they are just insecure of him because he knows so much. Alex is one of the people whom I have learned so much. He shares whatever knowledge he has, he give whenever he can, and he’s there whenever you need him. He’s responsible. In fact I admire him the way he manage his time in doing the things that he have to do and doing them perfectly. I admit that sometimes I hate him but it never came to the point that I started saying hurtful words against him. I’m surprised because they’re starting to miss the person that they were used to hate. Now I know that still he has the importance for them. But how can they say it? When things turn back to normal they themselves goes back to normal too. And the cycle goes on and on again. Maybe that’s why Alex get tired and started to keep distance. Anybody will do the same way he did. No matter how hard someone tried to hold on to what they’ve got if they themselves are the one who find thousand of reasons for them to give up, even a loving friend can’t do nothing.

literary folio

Ate Lorie and I were invited to come to the launching of our school’s literary folio. We we’re excited because they said that whoever came there will be given a literary folio. We thought that it would be distributed to only exclusive persons but we’ve learned that everyone would be given a lit folio. We have a class on the same time the event will happen so we’ve decided to ask for our professor’s permission but unfortunately she said no. We have to go to class since we have to discuss the topics that we have missed for our professor’s absent. The lessons were finished early so we decided to go to the event though we were late. When we were there we started to get bored and were thinking of just going out and attending our next class. Just then ate Lorie was called in front to get her 2nd place certificate. (Both of us were shocked since we were not informed that she had won in the essay-writing contest. We are just really there for the free folio.) Now I know why she insisted to go there because she had an award. Hahaha. After that we decided to attend our class. Everyone in class was happy with her award. But it wasn’t that happy since we were expecting to have a quiz on accounting. Just then the professor enters the classroom and gave the deadly accounting quiz. (Just don’t ask what happened next.)

sorry?

I didn’t mean to say those words; I was just so annoyed with what he did. I was sorry because he got sick and was not able to come to school. Honestly, I am really sorry. Maybe I had offended him but I never mean it. I know that things are hard for him right now, he’s still copping with his lessons and I know that he’s much busy now. But I just want to say sorry for the hurtful words that I may have written in this blog concerning him. Sir, I’m sorry. I know that it was never in your plan to get sick and be confined at the hospital for a couple of days and not be able to attend our class for several days.

cellphone

Nakatingin ka sa kanya sa malayo, napapangiti ka ngunit di mo alam kung bakit. Masaya ka habang tinitingnan sya.Maraming pagkakataon na ganun ang nararamdaman mo. Makita lang sya kahit nasa malayo masaya ka na. Pero iba ang panahong ito, sa pagkakataong ito nakatingin din sya sa 'yo at nakangiti pa. Dati rati madalas kang magkamali na ikaw ang tinitingnan nya at nginingitian, ngunit iba ngayon, hindi ang nasa hulihan mo o nasa unahan mo ang nginingitian nya kundi ikaw. Sigurado ka, ikaw yun. Ni minsan ay hindi mo naisip na darating ang araw na ngingiti sya sa'yo tulad ng mga ngiti nya ngayon. Nangangarap ka na sana huwag nang matapos pa ang oras na yun, na kung panaginip man yun ay ayaw mo nang magising pa. Gusto mong makulong ka na lamang sa panaginip na iyon. Kakaiba talaga ang pagkakatitig nya sa'yo, parang may kung ano na nagpapasaya sa kanya sa tuwing titingnan ka nya. Masarap isipin ang ganun. Perpekto na sana ang lahat, ayos na, ngunit bumaling ang iyong paningin sa bagay na kanyang hawak at nakadampi sa kanyang kanang tenga. Agad mong nahulaan kung ano ang bagay na yun. Ang kanyang cellphone.
Dapat nasanay ka na sa mga ganung pangyayari,hindi ka na dapat umasa pa na mangyayari ang mga panaginip mo. In-short nag-assume ka na naman at mali ka na naman ulit. Hanggang kelan ka ba mangangarap at mananaginip na bibigyan ka nya ng pansin at pagtingin. Hay, hindi nga kita maintindihan kung bakit pinagaaksyahan mo ng panahon ang mga taong hindi naman karapat-dapat pagaksyahan ng panahon.
Ngumingiti sya dahil masaya sya at hindi dahil sa'yo. At sigurado ka na na ang nagpapasaya sa kanya ay ang boses ng taong nasa kabilang linya ng telepono. Hindi mo kilala kung sino iyon. Marahil ay isa siya sa mga taong malapit sa kanya. Napansin mo na madalas syang ganun, lumalayo sa lahat habang may kausap sa telepono at pagkatapos nun ay abot-tenga kung makangiti. Hindi mo tuloy alam kung ano ang iisipin, kung sya ba ay may sira sa ulo o sadyang nais lamang pumukaw ng atensyon mula sa iba. Kung ano pa man ang dahilan, wala ka nang pakialam.
Walang pakialam, 'yan ang madalas sambitin ng mga labi mo. Pero nakailang banggit ka na nga ba sa mga katagang iyan? Kahit ako hindi ko na din mabilang. Paulit-ulit mo mang sabihin yan, bumabalik ka pa rin sa dati, nakikialam ka pa din. Meron pa ngang kasama ang mga katagang yan---kakalimutan ko na sya. (di ba tama ako?) Madalas mo din banggitin yan. Ang hindi ko lang maintindihan kung bakit ikaw mismo ang gumagawa ng paraan para hindi matupad ang mga pangakong binibitiwan mo sa iyong sarili. Ikaw nga ba ang gumagawa? O kahit ang sarili mo ay hindi mo na maintindihan? Marahil ay mahal mo talaga sya, kaya nahihirapan kang kalimutan sya. Pero alam mong hindi pwede yun dahil sinabi nya na sa 'yo kung sino talaga ang gusto niya. At hindi ikaw yun. Kelan mo nga naman pala itinatak sa isip mo na iba ang mahal nya? Sa mga ganyang pagkakataon nawawalan ka ng pakialam. Walang pakialam kung sino ang gusto nya basta alam mo mahal mo sya. Ok lang sa'yo na mahalin sya ng tahimik, ng hindi nya nalalaman. Sapat na sa'yo ang ganun, kahit na di nya tugunan ang pagmamahal na ibinibigay mo sa kanya. Ok lang. Tulad nga ng sinabi mo---hahayaan mo na lang na mahalin mo sya hanggang kaya mo...